Random Stories

Pain Ball

Columbus, Ohio

Playing with friends is awesome, even more so when what you play is Paint Ball! My group of friends and I like to do a bi-weekly game of paint ball after classes, it’s a good work out and it helps to let off some steam. Our passion for the game grew to a point where we bought our own gear; we stopped using rentals and began building our own little battlefield.

We eventually found a dilapidated building where we could play, even at night. It was a bit creepy and dangerous, we did try our best to cover up a few holes and even set what areas we could play in without much worry. It was fun to take cover around the pillars of the structure and a few barricades we made out of wood.

No one really came by, and the place was isolated enough that we could be as loud as we wanted without calling for attention. We even thought of holding matches with some of the other guys from the field we used to play in, but common sense said otherwise. I guess most of us knew the broken down building had to someone’s property. Adding more people to the felony list wasn’t going to help; besides this was our thing.

The building had its downside, just like any good thing does. It seemed like it was used to hold raves or it was used like a motel by hobos. We had to clear a few pieces of debris a few time, some assholes apparently took to smashing the walls and anything left inside the building with a sledge hammer, which was the case with our barricades. Rebuilding and cleaning the place became a small hobby, but damn it this place was ours!

One night we started playing around with a pair of night vision goggles, we made a deal not to shoot the guy wearing them to avoid any accidents. We took turns using them and played a little game, no one but the guy with the goggles was allowed to shoot. The idea was that whoever remained hidden in the building without being hit would win.

I was winning so far, but I had to move out from my hiding place. I made a dash to a new hiding spot once “the hunter” turned around, I tripped and he turned back quickly. He fired blindly…straight into my crotch.

It stung so badly I was reduced to tears in seconds, he shot me from a short distance so the impact was dead on. My friends carried me like a woman in labor onto the back of a car since I couldn’t walk. Our kick ass night turned into a short stay at the hospital, followed by lots of snickering as I iced my swollen testicle.

The guys stayed over since they felt guilty, but I knew they just wanted to enjoy the kick they got out of my misfortune. I guess it can all be summed up by the way one of them put it, “Last night was a ball!” Indeed, thanks for the shattered hopes of parenthood.

Walk of Shame

Goodwell, Oklahoma

Have you ever found yourself in that situation where you can’t find a way to leave in the morning? Girls love calling guys out on it, but the truth is that we do it too. Sometimes you just want some fun without commitment, no strings attached and what not. I think it doesn’t sound that bad when a girl admits to doing as much in this day and age.

I sure had a few rough mornings when I either met a clingy guy, or one that stormed taking a little “souvenir” with him. I once had a guy over who stole my lamp for some reason, so after that incident I try and get them to go to their place or avoid the “sleeping in” scenario. What can I say? I’m not looking for prince charming right now, I just want to roll around in the sheets and have a good time.

And that’s exactly what I got from a guy I picked up at a concert. It was at a small indie gig from a guy I know, so it’s still technically a concert. Anyways, my original intention for the night was to go with him once the event was over since he’s in a band and has good looks. Too bad for him that he plays the bass, because really, who goes out with the bass player? All jokes aside, I couldn’t shake this other guy off, in the best possible way. He was what you could call “heavy set” but I don’t discriminate, he was fun, kinda pretty for a guy and he had the right attitude.

We had a quick smoke outside over a bit of small talk. He was confident enough in his ability to please and I was more than willing to give him a chance, not because I’m easy but because he did everything right. So right in fact, that that we ended making out on his couch during a hot and heavy session of petting.

Things eventually led us to the bedroom, he proved himself to be a good lay. Nothing extraordinary but more than what you could hope from his looks, he was also diligent enough to point out where the keys were so I could leave when I wanted. At least I would have if not for what happened the next morning.

See, I like doing some kinky stuff during my “performance” one such trick involves throwing my clothes around. I’m so good at it that I apparently threw my shirt and bra off the window, so I only had my pants. I figured it would kill the mood to stop halfway through to pick ‘em up, so I left them out, only for who knows what pervert to take them from his front lawn by the time we woke up.

I’ve worn men’s shirts on my way back home before, but his were so large that they screamed “I boned a fat guy”, plus they were all band shirts so not only were they ill-fitting but they stood out in. This wasn’t a problem, though; the big one came with the fact that I no longer had a bra, so I was a jiggle mess on my way out. The “short walk” to pick up a bus to go back home became an embarrassing parade of stares from his neighbors and a couple people on the streets. What made this all so memorable, was that I had the luck to have a guy bumping into me on the ride “To see them bounce, girl!” and no one cared to stop him, not even me.

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