Random Stories

It only gets Stolen

Allentown, Pennsylvania



I have been an avid gamer ever since my youth, this is a passion I built my early years of life around. One that became so strong that I passed it down to my children, buying games and playing them together was one of the best things to do as a family.

So we were all thrilled with the current generation of consoles, I got all of them for the house over a couple of years as well as an HD TV to play them on. My younger kids loved the Wii and we got our fair bit of enjoyment from the Xbox until it broke down, but our greatest mileage came from our PS3. Sure, there weren’t many great games on it at first, but it gave us an early start on the Blu-ray craze, we thought of it as a Blu-ray player on which we could games once we found the right ones.

Our daily routines were simple enough and we even kept tabs on how long our kids could play any given system. The whole family was proud of our little media center, that is until the day we came home after being away visiting my wife’s folks for the holidays.

The living room door had been forced and the drawers had been taken apart, but that wasn’t our biggest worry. We ran into the living room to check our treasured media center, every last bit of it was now gone. The kids were devastated, but at least their room hadn’t been messed up since the damage focused on the living room area.

It was the holidays and we got burglarized, so far so good. My wife and I didn’t want to leave the kids without something to play on, so we went to a local videogame retailer and forked over the dough to get a Wii since they left behind most of the games. We also had to get a tv, and this time we upgraded to a flat-screen, if only so we could bolt it to the wall.

We had a couple friends over to help us install the new locks. I mentioned how we missed the PS3, since we had a bunch of movies left we couldn’t watch one of our friends suggested we go to a pawnshop and see if we can one. It sounded like a sensible choice if we could get over buying a crack head’s PS3.

I went with him to a pawnshop downtown later that night, lo and behold our fucking family’s PS3 was there! I recognized it from the decals my kids had put on it, I told the guy that I would call the cops on him since I had kept the box, receipt and the thing was even on a family photo with the kids. Calling a cop on a pawn shop may not be the brightest idea ever but the guy had a “No stolen items” policy. We checked on the rest of his merchandise but the other things weren’t there.

I took the PS3 back home and told the kids how my friend and I had fought over it, the older ones wouldn’t buy it into the story. All it mattered was that we managed to find a bit of our stolen properties, all in one night’s work as a dad. Besides, my little kids looked up to me like I was the goddamned Batman.

The party was a Hit

Indianapolis, Indiana



College is awesome once you stop studying. Drinking partying and boning make the top of any student’s wish-list, we all let loose as soon as we can all a break from the tests and the day to day shit of classes. I’m no different, I like picking up chicks and getting shit-faced when I have a chance.

The one thing I don’t like picking at parties, other than STD’s, are fights. I can handle a punch, but I never like the idea of getting into a fight because it just ends up with both guys getting messed up. Besides, there’s a chance that someone just beats me like a red headed step-child and I tend to avoid any situation that can lead to it. Save for one night.

We were at my boy Rick’s house, we had been itching to throw a party out of campus and we took the chance once his parents left town. We were having a good time, we had booze and plenty of hotties walking around the place. Sadly, we also had a few freshmen trying to crash the party.

They were drinking a lot and messing the place up by spilling drinks or dropping pizza. A dude from our group of friends confronted them, saying in no uncertain terms that he would mess them up unless they left the party. They put their drinks down and spent the rest of the night fronting by saying that the party was shit anyways, but they never left.

Then once the booze had gotten low, another guy flipped out and called out the party crashing freshmen for drinking too much. He also included Ricky for throwing a party without enough booze; I don’t have to say how drunk this guy was. At this point I had bagged me a pretty lady, which was my usual cue to leave, but my friends kept insisting we threw the freshmen and a few drunks out from the house.

I wasn’t about to bitch out in front of this girl, so I walked up to the small group of freshmen who were about to start fighting the group of frat assholes the first guy had rounded up. I thought my friends were backing me up because this was our party. I put myself between the two of them and told them to shut the hell up and take it outside, unless they…

And I never really got to finish that sentence, I didn’t realize who it was but one of my friends told me it was a frat guy. I got punched in the side of the head and fell like a paperweight. I woke up the next morning with a headache laying on the floor where I collapsed, no one even bothered to check if I was fine.

The front door was busted and a window was broken, Ricky later explained that a fight had broken out because of me, so he would hold me responsible for the door. The fight itself ended with the front door getting torn from his hinges when some frat douche tackled a freshman. That’s the point where the rest of the people agreed it had gone too far and everyone started leaving.

My friends simply crashed at Ricky’s house while I was left unconscious on the hardwood floor, thanks guys.

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